Week 10: Fishy Fajitas 5-3 LH Rovers

Going to Gambia half an hour ago.

Taggers 1, Tiers 1, Owers 1, Oweners 2

Week 10: Dirty Fajitas 6-8 Pukka Pies (Friendly)

We went 6-2 up and things seemed so easy. Oweners got all 6. I said, quite loudly, "Marc, I'll get you a pint when you get 10".

Then they scored six - whoops.

Ken played a fucking blinder.

Goal count:

Oweners: 25

Tiers: 9

Whitters: 8

Kingy: 8

Ashers: 4

Moraners: 3

Owers: 3

Taggers: 2

Marrers: 2
Northers: 1

Week 9: Fishy Fajitas 2-6 Multiple Scoregasms

I'll be completely honest, I can't remember much and I can't be arsed anyway.

Goal count:

Oweners: 19

Tiers: 9

Whitters: 8Kingy: 8

Ashers: 4

Moraners: 3

Owers: 3

Taggers: 2

Marrers: 2
Northers: 1

Man of the match: Oweners. Ashers said so.

Person of the match count:

Oweners: 3

Fitty: 2

Taggers: 2

Tiers : 2
Kingy: 2
Roof Ant: 2
Billers: 2

Marrers: 2
Ashers: 1
Whitters: 1

Owers: 1

Moraners: 1

Week 9: Dirty Fajitas 5-1 Derby UDE Squad

This was a match where Moraners got 2 barn stormers and Owers managed to nip inside and neatly tuck a shot into the bottom left corner.

Is this a reflection of how shit the opposition are or how far we've come?

YOU decide.

Goal count:

Oweners: 19

Tiers: 9
Kingy: 8

Ashers: 4
Whitters: 6

Moraners: 3

Owers: 3

Taggers: 2

Marrers: 2
Northers: 1

 

Man of the match: Moraners. A vital contribution and a huge shaft.

 

Person of the match count:

Fitty: 2
Oweners: 2

Taggers: 2
Tiers : 2
Kingy: 2
Roof Ant: 2
Billers: 2

Marrers: 2
Ashers: 1
Whitters: 1

Owers: 1

Moraners: 1

Week 9: Training Session

39 goals conceded, 3 goals scored.

In 3 games.

They were all closely fought though.

Goal count:

Oweners: 17

Tiers: 9
Kingy: 8

Ashers: 4
Whitters: 6

Taggers: 2

Owers: 2

Marrers: 2
Moraners: 1
Northers: 1

Week 8: Fishy Fajitas 5-1 Red Stripe Belgrade

Tiers blasted a stunning brace as Fishy came from obscurity to thrash Red Stripe in Derby. Marrers' team are now on course to qualify for the Second Division next year, following a result that will send shockwaves through the international game.

 

Red Stripe had never lost one Student League game in their history - but suddenly they were torn apart by a Fishy team playing slick football with a clinical edge up front. Tiers will win the headlines, but there were heroes all over the pitch for the Fajitas - with captain Marrers and rejuvenated goalkeeper Owers in particularly fine form..

The win means Marrers' men are five points behind leaders Red Stripe in Division Three - but they have no games in hand and, crucially, their goal difference is now substantially not as inferior. A win against Multiple Scoregasms next Wednesday would take them nearer to the top of the group. Such a prospect looked plausible when Tiers fired the Fajitas in front within six minutes. England's young studs roared in menacing fashion to destroy Red Stripe's proud record. And the much-heralded Belgrade engine room was completely out-paced by Ashers' go-faster stripes, as Fishy moved closer to pole position in the race for the championship. 

It looked bleak for the visitors when Fishy took the lead, The defence allowing Tiers to steer home some Fishy play. But if Fishy's defenders looked nervous together, then the Red Stripe's seemed nothing short of petrified. The Belgrade goalkeeper looked more flappable than anyone else on a night riddled with errors across the pitch. After all the pre-match Belgrade criticism of Owers and the claims heralding their own 'keeper as the world's number one, the division leaders' keeper was left with egg on his face.

Only a few minutes were on the clock when the Belgrade 'keeper was caught horribly out of position from a teasing cross.
The English keeper flapped at thin air as Ashers cleverly cushioned a pass into the path of Tiers who coolly slotted into an unguarded net.

At the other end, though, Owers was silencing his critics with a brilliant one-handed save to turn away a low shot and keep it at 1-0. Belgrade were guilty of a glaring miss when their striker fluffed his shot when completely unmarked - and that proved to be just the second warning that Marrers' side needed.

Fishy punished the astonishing miss deep into first-half injury time when Ashers headed down the pitch to unleash an unstoppable drive beyond the keeper's despairing grasp. The half-time boost lifted Fishy's spirits, but few would have predicted the astonishing second-half blitz which was to follow.

Tiers gave England a vital two-goal cushion when he neatly tucked a shot inside the near post after Marrers had superbly snuffed out another Belgrade attack. Ashers was in deadly form and he did not have to wait long for his brace. Taggers sent him scampering clear with a superb through ball and the hungry striker ignored Oweners' call to blaze home a sensational shot into the top left-hand corner. On a night when some of Fishy's finest triumphs were remembered, the timing of Ashers' brace was pleasantly significant. Owener's moment did arrive, though, as the big striker put the seal on the win some minutes from time. Billers squared the ball into an empty Belgrade backline and Oweners held off a challenge to slot home and complete Wales' one-man contribution to the scoring.

 

The floodgates had long since been opened, but now the exit doors were thrown open too as Belgrade fans headed for home in their singles. The Fishy supporters stayed right where they were, pinching themselves and wondering whether it was all a dream.

Goal count:

Oweners: 16

Tiers: 9
Kingy: 8

Ashers: 4
Whitters: 4

Taggers: 2

Owers: 2

Marrers: 2
Moraners: 1
Northers: 1

Man of the match: Owers. Duh.
 

Person of the match count:

Fitty: 2
Oweners: 2

Taggers: 2
Tiers : 2
Kingy: 2
Roof Ant: 2
Billers: 2

Marrers: 2
Ashers: 1
Whitters: 1

Owers: 1

Week 8: Dirty Fajitas 3-2 The Originals

Over a month after being soundly beaten by The Originals away, Dirty were bristling with intent when the fat masters returned to the Willows in March 2011. The electricity which filled the Spring air wavered briefly when some fat prick tore up the script almost immediately, cleverly putting the Originals ahead after just a few seconds, but once ahead, the heffers quickly opted to sit back. Big mistake.


Dirty pummelled their bloated visitors, with Taggers calling the tune on his March Wembley debut. The summer arrival from Birmingham cleverly set up Tiers for an effort which the Original keeper did well to block, and then had a shag disallowed after he deflected Marrer's lustful glance from an offside position.



The crowd could sense that the Originals were on the ropes, and a growing buzz peaked into a thunderous roar when Tiers blasted Dirty level seven minutes before half-time. Taggers crossed from the left, and the England striker blasted through, past the keeper and between a host of backtracking Originals defenders. Back on level terms with the mighty MSB, a mental hurdle had been cleared.


After the interval the Dirty boys continued to call the tune, but without forcing as many chances. The rattled visitors upped their robust approach, with MSB a serial offender, but the gameplan backfired when he almost earned two yellow cards and an early bath.


It wasn’t long before Dirty took full advantage. Only four minutes later, no-one flicked a half-cleared corner back into the danger area. Oweners collected the ball, shielded away some hilarious attempts to clear, rounded on the ball and slotted into the delightful net. The roar that greeted Tiers’s goal suddenly seemed like a timid yelp in comparison to the baying din that now gripped Wembley.


Whereas the Originals sought to protect their advantage in the game’s infancy, Dirty aimed to take full advantage of having a stranglehold on the scoreline, and wrapped up the victory late in the second half through a stunning goal from Marrers.


Again Ashers was involved, sliding an inch-perfect pass infield from the left touchline. Marrers raced onto it and drilled a fierce shot into the keepers' far bottom corner.


Although some flabby shit pulled an injury-time goal back with a stunningly simple goal, Dirty held on to notch the victory that showed they could hold their own at Europe’s top table.

Goal count:

Oweners: 15
Kingy: 8
Tiers: 7
Whitters: 4

Taggers: 2

Owers: 2

Ashers: 2
Marrers: 2
Moraners: 1
Northers: 1

Man of the match: Marrers. Kingy said it. I can film him saying it if anyone dares doubt this.

Person of the match count:

Fitty: 2
Oweners: 2

Taggers: 2
Tiers : 2
Kingy: 2
Roof Ant: 2
Billers: 2

Marrers: 2
Ashers: 1
Whitters: 1